LL ([info]xdyingcameliax) wrote,
@ 2006-11-27 15:42:00
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Current music:"Hello" Poe
Entry tags:ffxii, fic

Never Enough [FF XII]
Title: Never Enough
Fandom: FF XII
Pairing: Vaan x Penelo
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Vaan, Penelo, life and dinner. Post-game ficlet thing. Spoilers for ending. For [info]ffxii_fic
Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to FFXII. My thanks to SquareEnix for creating such a wonderful thing.



Dinner as usual. The city was going to sleep just as the nightly din in Lowtown was starting up. The apartment hadn't changed much. The heady aroma of meat stew and fresh bread blended with the musty scent of lowtown, that of damp rock, mold, moss, sweat, wood smoke and spices, as it always did. Vaan breathed in the scent as he crossed the threshold and knew that he had come home.

"Vaan, you're late!"

...Only to get nagged at. Like always.

"Sorry! I was just going to the Sandsea for lunch when I saw this bill on the board and..."

Penelo just sighed and shook her head. Vaan gave her cheeky grin and sat down to dinner.

"Hey, come on, the meal's still warm right? So that means I'm less late than usual," He breathed in the steam and dug in. Penelo smiled and began eating. It was amazing really, the more things changed, the more they stayed the same. Vaan still spent most of his time talking about how he was going to be a sky pirate and she still worked for Migelo and danced at the Sandsea. Now she delivered goods from all over to Migelo's, picking off hunts enroute. Dancing at the Sandsea had become more about enjoying dancing and less about earning tips that jangled in her pockets. Vaan had actually gotten his air ship, but seemed to spend most of his days just delivering things for stores or using it to get them to the latest mark.

Penelo once joked that they should give up on being pirates and just open a shipping business or become full time hunters. A hut on the Phon shore would be nice wouldn't it? The look on Vaan's face when he chocked on his bread was worth the effort it took to keep a straight face through it all. Honestly, all of Vaan's talk had somehow drifted in sideways. She had become rather fond of the idea of being his partner in crime. The blue skies that had always beckoned to Vaan was beginning to call her name as well. Someone had to watch Vaan's back. Who better to do that than her?

She wasn't scared of losing him anymore. Not to the world outside, to death or to someone else. They had seen the world, beholden things great and terrible that few others had ever lain eyes upon. They had stared straight into oblivion time and time again. And with her low-riding, lace up dancer pants, Vaan's eyes were most definitely not roaming else where.

"Hey Penelo?" Penelo looked up from her musing.

"Yeah Vaan?"

"I was just thinking," Penelo raised an eyebrow, "you know what I mean. Anyway, you and I, we've been through a lot. We've seem so many things and done so much. Yet when I came through the door, there was this one thought that ran through my head." Penelo nodded, urging him to continue.

"I was just thinking as I opened the door, hearing the creaking rusted hinges and smelling dinner on the table that 'this is home'. I know we're headed off for some weird place chasing some Cache of Gabado tomorrow,"

"Glabados," Penelo corrected. Vaan rolled his eyes and then grinned.

"Yeah, yeah, anyway, I realized that I could never get enough of this. So I figured it's really good that we're going to be together forever. Some day you and I will be old and I beat you we'll still be here eating dinner. Except we'll be even richer" Penelo giggled.

"Vaan, you're so sweet somedays," Vaan scowled.

"Come on, don't call me sweet. We're going to be sky pirates starting from tomorrow. We're tough and scary. Penelo, stop laughing," Vaan had taken to pouting. Penelo guffawed at his expense before calming down.

"All right then, Mr. Tough Sky Pirate, how was your day?"

"So like I said there was this bill. The petitioner was some cranky merchant who ran into some trouble..."

There was one change. Penelo and Vaan had always slept in the same room. Some time ago, they replaced the two beat up pallets with a single bed. Vaan and Penelo had made the frame themselves with lumber from the Feywood. It was a symbol and good luck charm all in one. Vaan was still trying to figure out how to get it into the airship.




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[info]tishannia
2006-11-28 12:16 am UTC (link)
Love. ♥ It's so cute! My favorite coupling, too. =D Great job~ *hugz*

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[info]xdyingcameliax
2006-11-28 12:17 am UTC (link)
Thank you!

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[info]cupcakemonster
2006-11-28 07:36 am UTC (link)
I liked the premise of this fic. I like the pairing itself, but a pairing isn't always strong enough to carry a fic entirely.

I think you would benefit from leaving this for a few days, and then looking at it again and reading it aloud. Often your phrasing and structure is awkward, and uncomfortable. I find myself stumbling over it. Your characterizations are interesting, but I'm getting lost in your use of modern language.

There are little mistakes that detract from your work. You might think about getting someone to beta read your fic before posting it. There is lots here you can improve upon.

Some things jarred me right out of your writing, like the following:

"And with her low ridding, lace up dancer pants, Vaan's eyes were most definitely not roaming else where."

This seems out of place, not something that would necessarily be said in the world of Ivalice. As well, there is the spelling mistake of "riding" which you wrote as "ridding", making her lace-up dancer pants to be ridding of lows, as opposed to low-riding.

Grammatical errors are unfortunately the bane of all our existances, but I can see you have promise and imagination. I would be interested in re-reading you work once you have given it a second draft at least. This comes off as very unpolished, and detracts from your storytelling.

A fine attempt, though, and I look forward to reading your work in the future; I can tell you will be a very good writer one day.

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[info]xdyingcameliax
2006-11-29 02:52 am UTC (link)
Thank you for your feedback. You're probably the most useful reviewer I've ever had. I admit I do have language usage issues. I suppose the main problem is I see a scene, but then lack the ability to communicate it properly through language. Science geek here, my normal writing has little more than dry facts. Also I suppose a large chunk of it is that I just haven't had the instruction in English up to the level where I can write in a manner that is a smooth read. Which is to say I'm in AP English in my senior year of high school and barely getting a B in it.

...any suggestions for a beta? or where to find one?

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[info]cherrybomb
2006-12-10 11:59 pm UTC (link)
I'd beta Vaan/Penelo~

What other fandoms do you write?

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[info]xdyingcameliax
2006-12-11 02:15 am UTC (link)
Thank you! I also write Final Fantasy VIII. (I'm working on the Fated children challenge right now, so if you're willing to read Posse fic...) Regardless, I would really appreciate it if you could beta my Vaan/Penelo fics, since I do plan to write more. Many more...maybe the Final Fantasy 100 or 30 Fantasies. *ponders*

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[info]cherrybomb
2006-12-11 02:58 am UTC (link)
Ooh~

Hit me up on aim sometime, my sn is "reno me up". ♥

and you should TOTALLY do a few fic challenges. Ever think of doing vaan/penelo for [info]30_kisses? *not sure if it's taken or not*

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[info]xdyingcameliax
2006-12-11 03:54 am UTC (link)
I looked, it isn't, but the themes...are just so odd...

..ah, what the heck. I signed up ^_^. Look forward to it (when I get the time to work on it...got one week until break)

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[info]cherrybomb
2006-12-11 03:59 am UTC (link)
XDDD Sweet~!!!

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[info]cherrybomb
2006-12-10 11:58 pm UTC (link)
Awww, so adorable~! How did I miss this one??? ♥

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[info]xdyingcameliax
2006-12-11 02:16 am UTC (link)
Thank you *blushes*

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